Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
