i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
