the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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