I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
so that wasnt chicken after all
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
