His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
