I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
