Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
