ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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