If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
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We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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