i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
