yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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