google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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