just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
