Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
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