You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
