Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
