i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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