what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
