Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
