I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
