my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
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She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
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