ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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