i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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