You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
