Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
NoShamevember. You game?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
