I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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