We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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