his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
