The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
