is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
