Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You need Xanax blowdarts
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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