So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
