rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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