i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize