You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
