Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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