I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Come on in and take your pants off
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize