When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
