I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
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