Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm passing your future prison.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
