This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
