Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Send help, water and tortillas.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
