i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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