I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
