: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
