Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
id be glad to
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
