adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
