it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize