I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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