The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
