I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
