I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
