clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize