No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He? As in you personified your dick?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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