i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize