You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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