North Korea, Best Korea!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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