I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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