How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
honey bunches of taint.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
