I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
