so explain again why im purple
no
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
