There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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