Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Randomize
