Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Randomize
