Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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