you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
