dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
